Keeping Our Kids Calm and Centred Through COVID-19

I first wrote this article back on March 26, 2020. My oh my, had I known then what I know now. When I wrote this, we were only 10 days into the first stay-at-home order, with schools and daycares closed. I was less than two weeks into the juggling act of working from home with my kids at home and all of the adjustments that needed to be made.

I could never have known that, nearly a year later, I would be returning to this article knowing it needed to be reposted because we’ve now (hopefully, finally) hit rock-bottom. Here in Alberta, our schools and childcare centres are open. But we’re starting to see the impacts of these restrictions and the toll it is taking on our mental health. We need to keep implementing these tools even if the reasons for implementing them have evolved.

When our kids' mental/emotional health depends on ours, it can be a slippery slope. Even when we feel stable, it's tough to see our children struggle to cope with the enormous amount of changes to their routines, social life, and usual emotional outlets. Often we're so depleted ourselves.

So, how can we support our child's mental/emotional state during this crisis with COVID-19?

I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a trained health practitioner. I'm not a teacher with a Degree in Education. But I am a parent. I can’t sit back quietly watching what’s happening without lending a few of my ideas, which I’ve now updated since I first posted them.

Some of these come from my online community when I first put the question out there of how we support our children’s wellbeing and keep them calm and centred through COVID-19. Some ideas I’ve added because it has made a difference for us.

Before I start, each family is experiencing different things. Every person is affected differently by what’s going on right now. These are simply ideas that may or may not work in your context. My children are 2 and 7, for reference.

10 Ideas for Keeping Our Kids Calm and Centred Through COVID-19

1. Control the Narrative:

In our family, we make an effort as parents to control the narrative about COVID-19. We fail at this sometimes when we feel frustrated or overwhelmed. But, since our oldest is only seven, we have the advantage that she doesn’t have access to a phone or news beyond what her classmates are sharing. I encourage others to establish boundaries within their own family context, whatever that looks like.

2. Positive Screen Time

I’ve heard many parents lament the fact that their kids are exposed to more screens. I get it, and we’re also depending on devices a bit more than before. But for a positive screen experience, Cosmic Kids Yoga has been a wonderful addition to our repertoire of movement-based activities that are also calming and offer important messages to support a child's wellbeing. GoNoodle is another video-based option that gets your kids moving and entertained at the same time. TVOKids, among a plethora of online resources and channels, also has some great resources.

3. Healthy Listening

Podcasts have always had a calming effect on our oldest child, and are technically screen-free. They allow her to rest as she listens and takes her mind off her concerns. Our favourites are Wow in the World and Brains On – both science-based, and fun for parents too. (Both of these shows have a number of COVID-19 related episodes to help kids understand what’s happening). Lately, we've been experimenting with a meditation podcast, too.

4. Get Outside

Time spent outside seems obvious, but I sometimes get caught up in the moment and forget that when things get squirrelly the best solution is to get out into the fresh air. I have rarely had a time when even just a short amount of time outside doesn't quickly diffuse whatever tension has built up.

5. Plan Something They Can Do

With nothing on the calendar – no school, sports, parties or other events – it's tough to then have nothing to look forward to (the same goes for us adults!) Plan something they can look forward to. Our answer has been staycations in our local context while still keeping within the restrictions. About once a month we’ve booked a local hotel and eaten take-out or dined out when it was possible. It’s a novelty to be in a different space and within walking distance from things we can’t access from the house. Often this goes better when we ‘divide and conquer’ as parents and spend 1:1 time with the kids, bringing only our eldest on these staycations.

6. Making Chores Fun

We are using an app called Rooster Money to help our kids stay on top of chores and their personal responsibilities with a sense of fun and reward. Our oldest must complete certain daily and weekly chores (I like to call them “contributions”) to get her allowance (things like emptying her lunch bag, and once per week helping with dinner, emptying the dishwasher, and doing a thorough tidy of her room. She gets bonus money for watering plants, etc. The little one gets stars. I’ve noticed this process offers a good distraction and also helps with boredom. It also teaches kids about money, as it divides their allowance into savings, spending and giving.

7. Connect with Family and Friends

When we feel like it’s needed, we give our eldest time to talk to friends and family through platforms like FaceTime or Messenger Kids. Parents control who a child can connect with. Our eldest can also check her messages and talk to friends, especially those she doesn’t go to school with. This social outlet has alleviated some of the disappointment in her not being able to see her friends.

8. Dance it Out

Dance parties are easy quick-fixes when you need an energy outlet and an injection of fun. When you can sense energy building up, put on a song and start the party yourself. You'll feel good, too.

9. Extra Reassurance

Extra Cuddle Time seems to be in order. This is a time to give our children extra reassurance and to acknowledge when it's time to stop what we're doing (or trying to get done) to 100% focus on their needs.

10. Get Kids Involved

When schools are closed for longer periods, we have found it easier if our kids are involved in planning the day. We’re back in school now, but when we weren’t we provided our eldest with a chart of activities that put in time allotments for various areas: activity book (school), crafts, household tasks, iPad, etc. We find this loose structure allowed her to choose what she'd like to do next, giving her the control.

Finally, I'll add: It's OK when things aren't OK.

We need to permit our kids to cry and feel downright awful about things. This is tough for them. We've worked to communicate with our kids that we are working through this as a team. Sometimes Mom or Dad will be feeling rotten, too.

Sending you all a sense of peace, calm and comfort through these trying times.

xo Meghan

What other ideas do you have for keeping your kids calm and centred through this crisis with COVID-19? Feel free to drop them in the comments below.